How do you determine which is you?
This is something I have been wondering all week as I slept 13+ hours a day. And even taking naps. Spending more time asleep during the week than awake can make one wonder WTF is going on.
While I am FINALLY feeling a bit better, more energy, less mucus etc, I still wonder why I slept so much. And if I was just being lazy, or if my body really did need it.
This feeling hits me quite a bit. And not just with sleep. With other things as well. Like exercising, taking the sheets off of E's loft bed and washing them, walking the complex etc. Sometimes I wonder if I use my CF and being tired or lacking in energy as an excuse. But that I use it deep down inside so I think I have no energy when really all these years of slowly not being able to do things has made me lazy. For example, I hate steps because they make me cough so I avoid them. Yet when forced to walk the steps (like last weeks clinic when the garage elevators didn't work and you didn't know till you parked on the top level) you can do it, albiet slowly and painfully.
I could walk the complex daily, but I don't. I could drive to the lake and walk parts of it, but I don't. I really could get back on a horse and ride, but I don't.
But WHY don't I?
Am I scared of the result? That I will realize I CAN do these things? Or that I will realize I really CAN'T do these things? Which is it?
The only way to find out is to actually do it. And this summer, my goal is to walk parts of the lake when its not 100 degrees out. Maybe I can start there and see where it leads me...