The Pity Look

You know that look.  When someone looks at you and you can see the pity in their eyes.  They cock their head to the side and shake it softly. 

I experienced this on Thursday when I went to see my PCP.  She is hard to get an appointment with since she is working only one day a week while waiting for the baby to come.  So I couldn't get in to see her but I got to see one of her team members (The place is HUGE but they are broken down into groups of 4-5 doctors so if you NEED to see someone and your primary isn't there you can see someone who is relatively familiar with your file).  I had to get some refferrals for upcoming appointments and also see about upping my anti-depressant dosing.  We were chatting and he listened to my lungs and asked how I was doing CF wise.  I told him how my CF doctor wanted me to meet the transplant team and gave him a brief synopsis.  That's when I got the pity-head-nod-stare. 

We also chatted about my depression, mood swings and irritablity.  We decided to try upping the Celexa to 40mgs a day instead of 20mgs.  So far I feel wonderful!  This weekend was the first weekend in MONTHS I haven't wanted to rip someone's head off and kick it across the lake.  Granted it was also the first real SPRING weekend we have had but we will see how this week pans out. 

What really impressed me was that my PCP called me later Thursday to check on me and make sure I was ok.  She had talked to the doctor I had seen and she wanted to just touch base with me.  She also promised to come in and see me on May 13th when I am there again for my follow up.  I really appreciated her calling me and I will be sticking with this place as long as I can!  I really liked her when I had met her before but this really solidified it for me.