Have you noticed the typical CF body? Skinny arms, wide chest, barely having hips. Yeah I have it too. And I HATE it!
With bathing suit season fast approaching (though when you look out my window and see 3 inches of snow on the first of April you don't see how it is fast approaching), I went shopping for an updated new two piece. I can't wear one pieces, they make me feel like a boy, seriously. Unfortunately I haven't tried it on yet; I'm too scared. I know exactly how I will look and I am dreading it. To this day I still feel like one of those mal-nourished kids from Africa that you see plastered on the TVs all the time. Skinny arms and legs and big, bloated bellies. Only mine is up higher in my chest area, well an partially down in my gut too.
I have no boobs (Victoria's secret stopped making my favorite bra years ago in my size from lack of consumer need - I've been told) but this HUGE chest. Think size 14 bridesmaid dress and a dress sales lady trying to tell me I need a 4 not a 14. I proved her sorry ass wrong haha! But it has me very self conscious. My chest is wider than my hips. I can't wear any tops or dresses that zipper because they won't fit. Anything tight looks stupid on me. I feel fat and gross. And I KNOW I am not. That's what gets me.
I AM NOT COMFORTABLE IN MY BODY!!!!!
And its not like it is something I can change. I can't make my rib cage get smaller. I can exercise all I want but its not going away. When I put on weight it doesn't go to my skinny arms, it goes to my already bloated belly. It's something I need to work on and improve.
CF doesn't fuck you up enough it has to mess with your self esteem too :P