Sunday, May 29, 2011

Saying Goodbye... (edited)

Saturday was Bree's Celebration of life.  And a celebration it was.  There were so many people there!  Such a testament to what an amazing person she was.

I met her sister first.  I told her who I was and that I was there to show the family our support from all of the online friends Bree made, and who couldn't be there themselves.  She asked me where I was from to which I obviously replied Boston, MA. She got this look of pure wonder on her face and started crying.  She gave me a huge hug and told me should was so thankful I came this far for them.  That of course made me sob lol.  I met her parents next.  They are so awesome!  I see where Bree got her personality from.  I stayed for a bit to watch the slide show and to just look around at the people.  I flew 401 miles and drove 104 miles to be there, I was going to make my time worth it and not stay only 15 minutes.

I got a few extra memorial cards to send to some people who wanted to be there but couldn't.

After I left I decided to take a trip to Chapters.  Bree's favorite place.  It was kind of surreal walking around the store that she has frequented so often.  I bought two books while there.  I know she would appreciate them both.

I drove around a bit and was able to see the University of Guelph.  Its a beautiful city!  I took a few pictures to document what I saw and so those that wished they could be there can look at these and maybe feel like they were.

That night and again Sunday when I was going home, I felt depressed.  Just down and blue.  When I returned to my hotel room after the adventure around town, I had an overwhelming desire to go home.  I was dreadfully homesick - something that very rarely happens, and only has when I have been in the hospital.  And the suckiest part was I could not use my phone because it was on roaming.  I connected to WiFi though so I at least could talk to P that way.  Luckily when I woke up I felt better for a bit.

I still can't believe she is gone.  It still doesn't seem real to me.  I miss her so much.  I know it time the pain will dull, but that does little to console now.  I just want to talk to her one more time.  To see her post a sarcastic witty status update.  To make a goofy comment on one of my pictures.

I'll see her again some day.  This I know is true.

Almost there!

The Funeral Home

Her favorite store

My two books I bought at Chapters

city limits

yes I pulled over to take these two!

Tim Horton's - her tea haven

A few weeks ago, before I knew what critical condition Bree was in, I had the weirdest dream.  At this point it is foggy in my memory but I remember having to cross this ridiculously looooong bridge into Canada and at one point we were basically hoping from "cloud to cloud" to get across.  We got on a boat that floated (much like in Mario Bros lol) and that took us the rest of the way.  It took a few years to cross to Canada, and since I had done this on accident I had to wait till there was another ship returning to the states.

Saturday as I was crossing the bridge into Canada, I had the strangest deja vu.  My dream immediately came to my mind and I knew I was supposed to be there.  Of course it didn't take me years to cross the bridge, but in a way it did.  I became friends with Bree 4 years ago.  And it took me till she passed to make the journey to see her.  There was no "her" in the physical sense (they are doing an autopsy to see just what happened to her) but she was all around us that day.  In the laughter, the tears, the tea, her recipes that the family cooked for everyone, the music and the pictures.  She was there.  And I am so thankful that I was there too.


  1. so glad you were there, amy. i know bree's smiling somewhere that you took the time to do that (and that you bought TWO historical fiction novels!). thanks for the beautiful glimpse inside the life of a beautiful person. breathe easy, bree.

  2. Amy,
    How sweet that was of you to fly and drivef so far to show your support. Being a wife to someone with CF, I can absolutely tell you that her family was more thankful than you could EVER imagine that you traveled so far in their daughters memory. It's people like you that make my heart warm and the world a better place. There needs to be more people like you in this world. Now, go rest. I'm sure you're beat!

  3. Tim Hortons will be familiar b/c that's where she always bought her tea from. So many times she'd be on msn saying she either wanted to go to Tim's or she had one and was just finishing it. It's so cool to see photos of places that she went to. I wish I could have gone to the memorial too but I'm on IVs :( xx

  4. You're one awesome friend for making it up there for her and for representing all of her online friends who couldn't make it. :)

  5. Thanks Meg! I knew it had to be her :)

    Thanks everyone. I know I was up in the air about whether or not to go but I am so happy I went.

  6. Oh Amy, your post is so beautiful that it made me tear up. You are such an awesome friend and have such a good heart. She was shining down on you for sure loving that you were there. <3

  7. I'm glad you could be there

  8. What a super special thing that you went! I didn't know her but I truly feel for you and all of her friends and family who are missing her now. That's beautiful. <3

  9. ...I mean, the whole celebration of life sounded beautiful.