Thursday, June 14, 2012

Big Decision to Make

Today I decided to check out the design job scene online.  And I found a job I think I would love.  And they are hiring.  And I could finish my NCIDQ paperwork and actually get licensed!  (now to actually FIND the paperwork I started when I still lived in PA)

But what should I do? 

You all have seen me complain and whine about how much I miss working on here numerous times.  I would LOVE to go back to work!  I know I couldn't do it for years but maybe 12-24 months?  Just enough to get some money saved up to keep us from drowning when I get transplanted.  

I spoke with a friend who went from SSDI to working while on Medicare and I wouldn't lose my Medicare, just my SSDI which I could obviously live without if I was working again.  And I would be able to get back on it fairly easy since I wouldn't be taking more than 36 months off from payments.

But what do I do about life?  And school?  And volunteering?  And Major (our dog)?  And my health?

I remember that when I worked I had no life.  I couldn't see friends on weekends because I was so tired from working all week.  But I don't have many friends up here anyway and we stay home a lot on the weekends as it is. 

School I could put on hold if I wanted to.  Or just take one class at a time. I think I could handle it.  I have 6 years to complete the masters program and I know I won't be working for 5 years so I could complete it after stopping work again.  Am I OK with that?  I think so.

Volunteering would obviously have to come to an end.  I could deal with that.  I could always start up again when I stopped working again.

Major we could put in doggy day camp.  It wouldn't be too bad and he loves it there anyway.

Health....hmmmmm....that is a tough one.  I would still need to get IVs every few months just like now, but it would be more difficult to do when I am working 40+ hours a week.  I was getting sick all the time when I worked and was down to 4 days a week.  I doubt a new company is going to hire me for only 4 days a week.  Even if I did put the full 40 hours in.  

There is just so much to think about.  Should I send in my resume and just see if I even get a call back?  But if I do get a phone call, do I tell them I am unsure of what I want to do?  So so so so so much to think about!  


  1. have you ever considered working part-time? jumping from not working to 40 hrs/week is a lot, but 20 hrs might be more doable and sustainable without compromising your health. just a thought!

    1. I have thought about it, but not many places hire part time in my field and I don't know if I would be able to make the money I make now on SSDI and LTD if I work part time. I would want to make more than I make now for it to be worth it. And how do I tell a prospective employer I am looking for part time without letting him know about CF? I guess I could use school as an excuse??? Hmmmm

  2. it's always a tough and individual call whether to reveal a disability to a prospective employer, but personally, i'm a fan of being upfront and honest. it feels better to me despite the risk. that way the employer knows what they're getting and i don't feel like i'm withholding anything. fortunately, it hasn't kept me from getting a job yet.

    1. For me I am always unsure of putting them in the position of not hiring me. I don't want them to feel as if they have to hire me because of my disability. I would much rather get the job and have to quit 6 months later rather than tell them upfront and wonder the whole time if I only got it cause they didn't want a law suit.

  3. Amy, I've been where you are. I've been off work on LTD for 4 years now. I struggled with it the entire time. I also love my career and my job and I swear every other day I would entertain the idea of just saying f*&^ it and going back.
    For myself, I went downhill in those 4 years and am now listed for new lungs. It is scary to think of how much faster that would have happened if I were working.
    It sucks being off work, but it would suck worse getting sicker and on a fast track to transplant.
    With that being said, everyone is different, every case of CF so unique. However, don't put your health at risk for money or anything else. Your life is more important.