Not For Children - Hormone Blahs

If you remember, or if you don't, back in August I decided to forgo all synthetic hormones and try the herbal stuff.  I gave myself until Christmas to see if it would work.

Well here it is, 1 month until Christmas and I need to go back on the synthetic crap.  *SIGH*

With the exception of the honeymoon, I have had NO sex drive.  When I say no, I mean NO.  Sexy scenes in a movie don't even get the blood pumping.  It SUCKS.  My poor husband.  We are newlyweds and should be banging like rabbits, but I don't want to.

On top of that I am so miserable.  Maybe its stress, maybe its Shawn passing, maybe its the weather.  But whatever it is, I am a miserable bitch.  P will agree with me.  My patience is thin, my mood is grumpy.  I get short bursts of happy and then its back to miserable.  At least yesterday I decorated for Christmas and stayed fairly happy for most of the day.

I just need to go back to being me.  If it means I put on a few pounds then so be it.  I would rather be pudgy and fucking like a rabbit, than skinny (and really I only lost like 3 pounds) and miserable and no sex.

I can honestly say, and it pains me to say it, but I think I regret the hysterectomy.  Don't get me wrong, no period is WONDERFUL!  I can have sex 365 days a year and not worry about getting my period.  But if I have no sex drive than really who cares?  Its not like they can put it back in so I guess I need to figure out what to do.  I thought about talking to my PCP about it and getting a pill to give me a sex drive.  Then I thought well duh why not take the hormones instead.  Solves more than one issue right.

So there ya have it.  Tonight I will start back on my hormones and I will continue to take the herbal stuff too. Doesn't hurt and I bought a bunch of it!