If you remember, or if you don't, back in August I decided to forgo all synthetic hormones and try the herbal stuff. I gave myself until Christmas to see if it would work.
Well here it is, 1 month until Christmas and I need to go back on the synthetic crap. *SIGH*
With the exception of the honeymoon, I have had NO sex drive. When I say no, I mean NO. Sexy scenes in a movie don't even get the blood pumping. It SUCKS. My poor husband. We are newlyweds and should be banging like rabbits, but I don't want to.
On top of that I am so miserable. Maybe its stress, maybe its Shawn passing, maybe its the weather. But whatever it is, I am a miserable bitch. P will agree with me. My patience is thin, my mood is grumpy. I get short bursts of happy and then its back to miserable. At least yesterday I decorated for Christmas and stayed fairly happy for most of the day.
I just need to go back to being me. If it means I put on a few pounds then so be it. I would rather be pudgy and fucking like a rabbit, than skinny (and really I only lost like 3 pounds) and miserable and no sex.
I can honestly say, and it pains me to say it, but I think I regret the hysterectomy. Don't get me wrong, no period is WONDERFUL! I can have sex 365 days a year and not worry about getting my period. But if I have no sex drive than really who cares? Its not like they can put it back in so I guess I need to figure out what to do. I thought about talking to my PCP about it and getting a pill to give me a sex drive. Then I thought well duh why not take the hormones instead. Solves more than one issue right.
So there ya have it. Tonight I will start back on my hormones and I will continue to take the herbal stuff too. Doesn't hurt and I bought a bunch of it!