Wednesday, October 1, 2008

What to write about?

Well originally this blog was supposed to be about my computer and how badly I thought it was fucked up on Monday. As I sat bawling my eyes out in my living room practically curled up on my tiny desk chair I got a text from a GREAT guy telling me not to cry that this will all make a good blog. So I figured if I ever get my computer back I would blog about it. Well it's fixed but I really don't want to haha!

INSTEAD!!! I figured I would re-post a few of my old blogs that I really like and was thinking alot about today. Don't worry they are short!! :)

What I want in a guy:
Someone who:
Is not scared of CF
Is willing to support me financially and emotionally
Who understands that it is hard not being able to support yourself anymore
Loves me for me
Will hold my hand when the doctor says transplant
Will visit me when I am sick and in the hospital
Will laugh at the stupid gown he has to wear
Will make fun of my quirks but in a silly way
Will make me laugh like no other
Will let me cry on his shoulder and leave tear stains
Will hug me when I'm feeling down and all I want to do is scream and cry
Will tell me I am beautiful with my O2 on, IV's hooked up, hair a mess, and no shower
And he will mean it!
Won't mind sitting home all weekend because my lungs hurt too much
Will be by my side until my last breath
Will laugh at my million and one ideas that I never follow through with
Will accept me and my dog into our home
Will respect my decision in the end if I decide to stop fighting and let myself go
Will love me no matter what and understand that some days I am going to be happy and others I am going to want to die but that no matter what I will always love him

I want to:
chase after him around the living room until one of us catches the other one
curl up on the sofa and watch reruns all night long
goof on each other
get drunk and have deep heart to hearts
lay my head on his chest and hear his heartbeat
bicker and then flick his ear to make him laugh
spend all day in bed/sofa just enjoying each other’s company
leave him stupid gifts and messages to show that I care
fall in love with him everytime I see him
call him at night just to hear his voice before I go to sleep
cook dinner together and then order out when we screw it up from laughing too much at each other
hold hands when walking everywhere
get dressed up just to hang out at his house because he loves me dressed up

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh :)


  1. "Will tell me I am beautiful with my O2 on, IV's hooked up, hair a mess, and no shower"

    Help you color coordinate when you have to wear a mask. No. Seriously, that's a good, if rather particular, list.

    This kind of reminds me of Gravy. Not sure how much he fits this all, but I love how devoted to CF he remains even after losing his GF to it. I've never had a GF with CF (a CFGF?), but was hit terribly, terribly hard when a female friend with it passed away. A psychologist I talked to said that it was normal grief, though, and seemed happy that I was (in a rare moment) allowing myself to grieve. I still don't know if I could handle being that close to all a CF girl's protocols and routines, but I'm so glad I remain in the fold platonically.

    There's gotta be someone good out there for you. You are a lively gal who knows what she finds fun.

  2. Awww...that really made me smile!! I hope that I am that for my hubby!

  3. There are guys out there, like you are describing -- I have one of them. :-)

  4. OH BTW this is a HAPPY blog :) I guess it might come off as wanting and needing but it is a happy one :)

    And the AHHH at the bottom is more of a sigh ahhhhhh :)


  5. Kind of a dreamy fantasy sigh, huh? I've had plenty of those. fun to dream, fun to unseriously flirt.

    -C Pa

  6. Don't forget to ask for someone who is faithful when you are sick....

    Please be cautious. We should talk.
    Us girls need to watch out for each other.