Sunday, November 29, 2009

One day I will not be the mom

There is a reason I am moving and a reason why I hate where I am now. Hopefully this person doesn't read it but who knows and oh well.

I am moving to get away from being the parent in the mother/daughter dynamic. Most of you know that I live with my mom and moved in here in June to help pay the bills since she lost her job. Well she refuses to get a "real" job stating that waitressing is plenty, yet we can't pay the bills still.

I have resigned from my post as helper. I'm done. This is the MAIN reason for my move.

I can't rely on her to support me when I can't work so I will go somewhere else where I don't have to see her lose the house. As much as I don't want to see her out on her ass, I am sick of watching her spend her money on alcohol and shit she doesn't need instead of paying the mortgage or the electric bill.

Any questions, feel free to ask.


  1. You are quite an incredibly woman for realizing the situation you are in and leaving it.

    You are turning from being an enabler to an alcohol to an enabler of the life you deserve to live.

    Hugs to you! I'm extremely impressed by your maturity!!!!


  2. It take a big person to recognise something like this and a brave person to do something about it. Good on you and well done.

  3. I don't know what else to say except, you go girl! <3

  4. No questions, but I feel the need to say that sometimes we have to teach our parents how to be parents. It sucks, but it's true.

  5. I thought your mom had back problems too - waitressing can't be good for that!

    Good for you for taking charge of your life, Amy. Onward and upward!

  6. Sorry that you are the parent in that relationship. My situation is different, but I am also the "parent" in the relationship with my mother. And it sucks.

    I am glad that you are moving and doing what is right for YOU. I know that it is hard to do, but it will be good in the long run. Hopefully you leaving will push your mother along to change. But if not, it is her life that she is messing up. You don't need the stress of working hard and feeling like you need to help her.


  7. She does have back problems Rhi but she says she feels fine. Whatever!!!

    Thanks everyone for making me feel better about this!!!!

  8. Amy, you are brave to walk away, i can only imagine how hard it is. For what it's worth, i think you're wise, you can't change others' behavior, only your reaction to it. You're doing what is right for you and I think it's great. Can't wait to see you when you get up here!

  9. You're doing the right thing. It may be hard to do but it's the right thing to do, you have to think of your future which is something we always have to do with CF.
    My theory if she can buy alcohol she can pay a bill.
    Hugs to you and I'm happy that you are trying to make your life better for you not others : )