Sunday, April 4, 2010

I want...

...a baby.  I know I know...  We went to Church today and there were so many tiny babies there.  I actually started tearing up at one point.  I must be in full swing of the biological clock thing and my body is just over sensitive to it.  Even thinking about babies makes me get all teary-eyed.  

I hate CF


  1. I think there are two types of cysters that have babies. 1. The type that is healthy enough and wants to stay healthy with original lungs. 2. The type that is healthy enough, but close enough to decline and go through transplant soon after. Either way, if you want to experience pregnancy, now is the time to do it. I don't think it's wise after transplant. My PFTs actually rose to record highs during my pregnancy. From my baseline low to mid 50's to low 60's!

  2. Yeah, I agree with Tara, DO IT NOW if you want to, because post tx it's really complicated, so you basically have to get a surrogate mom. I'm jealous of cysters who had their kids pre tx! Obviously I couldn't, I was 23 with no bf and the last times my lungs were decent enough for pregnancy was when I was like 19/20. Now Chris and I will have to do the surrogacy thing...

    Alice (

  3. *hugs* <3

    I know exactly how you feel... it's very very hard. I have never had the oppertunity, think my lungs might have been good enough when I was 5?
    Hopefully, after meeting my prince, maybe surrogacy sometime.. Very very hopefully

  4. thanks ladies...I don't think it will ever happen even though I am desperately wanting one. Maybe if/when Peter and I get married we can see how I am health wise and if we can have one. But until then I can just dream of it :)

  5. That's what we did amy. We put the whole thought off until the time was right for *us* and figured we'd think about it at that time...not any sooner. I know you know, but you want everything else to be as solid and in place as possible before going that route. You know, I know. It is a bummer, I completely hear ya. We're not going to do it now b/c of my health, but I that is better in the long term b/c I could *not* handle it now. The whole thing SUCKS. Sorry. :(

  6. In my opinion I couldn't imagine why you would want a kid. If you think its alot of work to do a number of vest treatments a day and everything else that goes along with CF try doing all that with a kid hanging on you. All that extra work would likely be a detriment to your health. I say wait until after tx and adopt or do the surrogate thing. It will be better for your health and if you get married, it would be better for the marriage too.

  7. Why I would want a kid? Hmmm maybe because it has been the ONLY dream of mine that I have had since I was like 2 years old. Because women tend to want babies and can feel the internal clock ticking unlike the men. Because I want to be a mother and feel a child growing inside of me.

    I didn't say I was going to do it, I said I wanted one. There is a difference.

  8. i don't know how to respond to this post, which is why it's taken me so long. but i can't let it go any longer -- i totally understand where you're coming from. for me it's not even the pregnancy so much, b/c i question whether i'll ever have kids at all, though any means. i want them 100%, but will i ever be in a position healthwise where it's a real possibility? will i be able to overcome some of my reservations?

    i guess this isn't much of a support message, but i wish it were better. i love you, cyster, and you know we'll all be totally behind you whatever happens and whatever decision you make, whenever you make it. but in the meantime, lots and lots of love coming your way.

    and ps: i certainly don't mean to denigrate anyone's opinion, but from my perspective everyone's life gets harder and more complicated when a child is thrown into the mix, not just CFers. so the urge to have a child clearly isn't tied the desire to have as simple, easy of a life as possible. i wholeheartedly agree that sometimes pregnancy (or even motherhood) isn't the smartest of ideas for CFers -- but i also think it's a very human, natural urge (esp. when you're in a loving, committed relationship), and clearly nothing is as black and white as logic would sometimes make it seem. and this from a lawyer, of all people ;)

  9. I agree with you and support you 100% Amy, as we've discussed in person. Your desire to have babies is totally normal. When people tell me not to have a kid, I always think of CF docs who try to tell teenagers not to get into so-called serious relationships, and other crazy crap that is against human instinct, to preserve their health. You're here to LIVE LIFE, NOT FEAR LIFE!!!

    I personally think, no matter what you ultimately decide and what happens, that you would make a great mom (birth or adoptive) and a really cute pregnant gal!