Hospital Stay

I had my one month follow up appointment today to see how the Cipro had worked.  It kind of did...on paper.  In reality it did nothing so I was not surprised when she said she wants a clean out.  My FEV1 went up to 44%, which is awesome (from 42% last time), but I am still SOB and coughing with any exertion.  The team saw that on my 6 minute walk test as I hacked and coughed for about 70% of the time!  But I was still able to walk 1390 feet!!!  Which according to Miss Beatty is just below average!!!

I'm glad to be going in the hospital to get my lungs back under my control.  I hate coughing and wheezing.  And even Peter says I sound like crap.  So this must change.  What I was NOT prepared for was the wait to get in.  **SIGH** I must wait until next Wednesday to go in.  And unfortunately, since I don't have "proper" health insurance yet, I must stay the full 14 days in-patient.  No home IVs are covered with the bridge coverage I have.  Waiting until August was not an option at all, and I agree with her.  I need to feel better and have more energy before the summer is over.  

I am just so so so very upset that I will be missing K&B's wedding!  I have known B since I was 15.  I consider him one of my closest guy friends.  We used to talk and chat all the time at work, and about anything and everything.  When he started dating K I was so excited!  And then when he proposed I was ecstatic!!!  I have been looking forward to this for almost a year.  And I have been looking forward to actually attending the reception for about 3 months.  I know with CF one must not plan ahead too far, nor be surprised when the plans are fouled up.  But I am still rightfully bummed.  I am going to email the coordinator and see if we can wait another week and a half to get me in.  I mean what is 12 days when I am waiting 8 already!  

Now on to a bit of a rambling vent post:

Everyone always seems to think that going in the hospital is a bad thing.  I personally like them.  The stay itself is not the most pleasant experience, but the end result is something that I look forward to.

What is the end result you ask?

Feeling normal and halfway like a "healthy" person.

Sounds so simple yet it is why I like going inpatient.

When I go in I try to remember that not everyone I know has the same mindset as me.  Some people look at this as I am getting sicker and sicker and need to be inpatient in order to feel better (which is true but why dwell on the negative of it).  Some feel that hospitals are horrid places and no one should have to be in them.  But no one seems to be OK with me going in, except me, and my doctor.

I would like to attempt to change the mindset of these people.  Instead of looking at it as yet another hospital stay where I will be infused with IV antibiotics in order to rid my lungs of this PA flareup, I implore my family, friends and readers to look at it as a way for me to be myself.  That's right, be myself.  Because after the 14 days of IVs are up I can clean without coughing fits, I can talk without coughing fits, I can even goof around without coughing fits.  And I will have energy, cough less, and all around feel better.  I ask my family, friends and readers to not worry about these hospital stays until I stop having the desired end result when I am finished.  If 14 days of IVs does not put me where I want to be then I say you can worry.  Until then, I ask you to be glad I am going to feel better.

Don't fret that I am couped up in a room for over a week.  Don't fret that I don't have visitor's all the time.  Don't fret that I might actually like the time alone.  Don't fret that I am a small helpless child and need to be pawned over and coddled.