Well as much as I was thinking that Wayne Gretsky was correct when he said "you miss 100% of the shots you never take", I had to accept the realization that I just should not apply for the job.
Believe me, I would love to. But the truth is, I am not the type of person to just work somewhere for 3 months and then quit. Even if I hate it I will stay much longer than needed. If I were to get sick again and need to stop in 3 or even 6 months I would feel obligated to work twice as long and end up much sicker than I am now.
So for me, the choice to bypass this opportunity is the right one. I can finish school without any worries. I can concentrate on my health. And in 18 months if they are still hiring or hiring again I can apply and see how it goes. Even if I don't have my transplant by then. But at least I can give it my all at that point and not have to juggle school, full time work and a family.
Its a tough choice but it had to be made. I remember how long I struggled on deciding to stop working 30 months ago. I struggled for over a year with the choice before finally agreeing that it was worth my while to do it. I don't think I have that kind of leeway anymore with my health.
Oh well....life goes on eh?
I'm sad that such a choice had to be made, but I feel it was the right one.
ReplyDeleteyou and me both :)
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