It Breaks My Heart

I have been putting off this post because I just wasn't sure how I wanted to approach it.  I was devastated at the news and it really hasn't sunk in yet.

I don't know if you recall 2 years ago (will be in November), me writing about a friend who passed away from CF leaving behind his wife and their dog.  I think I also posted about her Breast Cancer diagnosis on his birthday, just 6 months after he passed.  Though I checked my posts and I don't see one.  Maybe I didn't post specifically about it.  Either way:  (here is her blog)

On Gess' birthday, about 6 months after he passed away, she got the phone call saying she had stage 2 breast cancer.  She immediately began treatment for it and had her eggs harvested so when she beat cancer she would be able to have babies.  As time went on the cancer grew and spread.  It was later learned that she was stage 4, not stage 2.  It also spread to other organs.  I am not sure exactly where but by the end it was in her lungs.  She did everything she could to beat it.  She tried so hard.  And she never gave up on living.  She traveled to so many places, to visit family, to visit friends.  She made her memories.  She was told she had more time.  Then things went downhill fast.  She was hospitalized for almost a month.  She was going to go home on hospice and live out the remainder of her days at home.  Then things got worse.  They transferred her to a hospice facility to live for a few more weeks....then 24 hours after we learned this....she passed away.

Ugh.  It breaks my heart.  I can't even write this without crying.  She was so young.  He was so young.  Its one of those stories you hear that you want to ask if its a movie.  That nothing like this could really happen in real life because it sucks so freaking much.

My consolation is that she is finally back in her soul mate's arms.  She was absolutely devastated when he passed away.  She never had time to mourn properly.  She never had time to learn to live without him.  She had to struggle with cancer without the one and only love of her life.

It breaks my heart.

She is also living on.  Her corneas were donated to someone....which, ironically, is also what was transplanted from Gess.  Maybe the two people will meet and fall in love.....

I am glad she is pain free and in Gess' arms.  But it is so unfair she had to go that way.  Why did the universe have to send her cancer to put her back in Gess' arms?  Why couldn't she be struck by lightning or something that was quick and fairly painless?  She struggled and she suffered and she did so for no good reason.  She is still gone.  Gone forever.

Why?