Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Just some more thoughts

Well since I am back to work I have all this time to think on the turnpkie in the morning and at night. So of course that is what I do...cause that is what I do best haha!!!

So I have been thinking for a few days about possibly returning to school to get my Master's degree. I wouldn't go back until after I went out on SSDI though. I don't want to run into an early grave just for schoolings sake! I would want to either study English/writing or American History. I am leaning more towards History if I do decide to go back. I have also been looking into a few colleges to see what is out there. If there was a good college that I could take classes online I would do that, but I can't find any that offer my major of choice. So far the only on-campus school that I have found that I like is West Chester University. I visited the campus a few years ago and I love it. It is kind of far away though. Villanova has a History program too that is outstanding but all the classes are night classes. Which is ok, but I would like to take a few during the day too. But we will see. WCU is also a lot cheaper than Villanova. But Villanova is about 30 minutes closer. Also, I will barely be able to make my car and insurance payments, so I am not sure how on earth I would be able to pay for it when I am not working. I already have a boat load of student loans and I really don't want to add more.

SO then I got to thinking about the education that I already have. I have my Bachelor's in Interior Design and I have yet to fully use it. Yes part of me is scared to work for a design firm because I have been out of school for so long that I would have to take a pay cut to work at the beginner level in a firm. So I have stuck with the architectural end of design. Which I still love just not as much as interior design. Also, I have ALWAYS wanted to design casinos and hotels. It is my dream job!!! And there is this firm in Center City that specializes in those fields. They have done alot of work for Disney and in AC. Perfect for me...except that they require more hours than my body can deal with. Which brings me to the point of this little blurb. Transplant....again. Only this time it is a for tx blog.

If I were to go through with the tx and everything went well, within a years time I could get back out in the work force. That means that I could work for the firm I have been eyeing up for 3-4 years now. How cool would that be? Obviously they would have to know about my tx because there would be a huge chunk of time where I was not working and I would need to account for that. But that is ok. They can't deny me the job for the tx, just lack of experience. But I could also deal with working at the beginner level at that point in time because of having so much time off. And in 3 years my jeep will be paid off so that is one less bill to worry about.

So then I started wondering again. What if I continued to work full time up until I was evaluated for a tx? This would give me plenty of money to pay off everything and save up some too. Plus I would be able to keep my health benefits this way. And I could COBRA the benefits after leaving so I could have them pay for my tx. Seems like a good plan...but only if I decide yes for tx.

It is one thing to work your arse off up until evaluation, knowing that you will most likely have a ton of time left afterwards to live. Though it isn't guarenteed I know that. I know full well that I could die during surgery or reject shortly after and die. But let's look at the positive aspects only :) If you assume that you will live 5 years after tx then working up until eval is not that bad. However, if you think you are going to opt for tx and then decide not to, you have worked that long for nothing and now you are crappy feeling and can't live life.

So how do you decide what path to take? That is purely rhetorical mind you. I certainly can't answer that question and I know no-one can answer it for me.

Well I am sure there will be more on this subject to come. I plan on talking to my DR about tx next time I go. not because I need one but because I want to find out what HIS criteria are for recomending it.



  1. That is a lot to think about!! I hope that you are able to make the decision that feels the most "right" for you!

  2. Yeah, that's a bit heady to think about, but at least you are pondering your options. Life never turns out perfect for anyone. Maybe not even close. But identify some good options and take a leap and go with it. Plusses and minuses with everything. Try to enjoy each moment.


  3. I'm glad to find you here. I'm going to bookmark you so I can get caught up with your life.

    I have a litle granddaughter with CF who is turning 2 this next week.