but not in the sense that you all may think.
I have been having mini anxiety attacks at night. I am super worried about my heart. My actual heart not the “love” one. Throughout the day and at night I can feel my heart beating. Sometimes it feels like it is going to explode right through my chest cavity. Sometimes I feel like others can see it beating. Sometimes I will even grab my stethoscope and see just how hard it is beating. But then the crackles from my lungs over ride the heart and I can’t hear didly.
I have this down on my list of things to talk to my DR about at my next clinic appointment on September 24th. I am just worried that I am going to end up needing a heart and lung transplant. My worries are totally unsolicited since I have no idea if my heart is even behaving in a bad way. For all I know my resting heart rate of +100 could be ok. Though I highly doubt “resting” at that elevation is happening. I’m already hesitant about a lung TX so adding the heart into it might be the factor that throws me to a no. Or what if I get the lungs and then a year later I need a new heart? That is a lot to put on the body. Again totally could be worrying for no reason here.
I have been checking my O2 and HR when I wake up in the mornings. Right after my alarm goes off I thrust my finger into the pulse ox and stare at the bright green light. Almost always I am around 90% or lower and my HR is above 115. I just woke up WTF? I am also going to ask about a sleep study. More for curiosity’s sake than for anything else. I am sure my O2 doesn’t drop low enough to warrant supplemental oxygen at night, according to the insurance companies, because they are doctors ya know. Or maybe my heart rate is super high and THAT will get me O2…who knows. But for now I will just lie in bed at night listening to the thump thump of my heart and hope that I don’t freak out.