Babies R Us

Odd title I know but this blog is all about…you guessed it…babies. 

Somehow this morning  my mom and I got on the topic of birth control.  I’m an adult, my mom knows I am sexually active so this isn’t such a strange thing.  At least not in my happy little world.  She did give me grief for not being on any since stopping the Mirena last month.  But it messes with my system too much and to me it is not worth it.  If I am meant to get pregnant I will get pregnant, but I don’t foresee that happening.  This little conversation brought back some feelings I had had while away for the past month.

I want a baby. 

There I said it.  It’s true.  I want a baby, I want a child.  It will never happen and no I won’t do anything rash, trust me.  But I still want a baby. 

I was home last week watching TV and working on my nephew’s cape when the feeling just hit me.  I assume there was a commercial or something on the show I was watching that triggered it, but whatever it was it made me want a baby.  And want one with my boyfriend.  That was a strange new sensation for me.  In the past I have wanted a baby, but never wanted one with the man…err boy…I was with.  So for me to feel this way was odd, but a good odd.  It meant something to me. 

My whole life I have wanted children.  More importantly, I have wanted a family.  Granted there are other ways to have that family, and I am in one now (boyfriend has a daughter).  But when I was sitting there I wanted a child that looked like us, that had our weird quirks, that was us.  I wanted our baby. 

The feeling has died down since then, but it still lingers.  It lingers when I see a newborn out and about.  It lingers when I think about the few people I know that are pregnant.

For now I will be grateful for a wonderful niece and nephew, supporting family and friends, and an amazing boyfriend.

BTW, nothing beats walking into your brother’s house and having your nephew run up to you and wrap his arms around you.  It was the best feeling.