PICC Placement Fiasco

I don't know what to say about this even except that I have never been so scared in my life.  I thought I was going to die and I kept repeating over and over in my head that I didn't want to die this way.

Rapid Response had to be called during my PICC placement.

I don't remember too much after the initial excitement, and I only remember bits and pieces during.   What happened was this:

The PICC nurse was placing the line bedside, as I have always had done.  She had a little resistance at first but it finally went in.  As she got to the end, the walls started to close in, my stomach dropped to the floor and I thought I was going to pass out.  Then my throat closed.  This was in seconds.  I told her something was wrong and started yelling I couldn't breathe and to help me.  Next thing I know there are people everywhere, a nurse rubbing my head telling me everything will be OK and a doctor rubbing my feet shouting orders.  I heard them mention the code cart, rapid response team, Benadryl and O2.  A mask was placed on my face at full force O2.  Benadryl was injected into my IV line (not the PICC).

I remember seeing a ton of yellow....the gowns they were all wearing.  Looking back I am quite impressed everyone gowned up before coming in.

I remember thinking all I wanted was Peter and I know I mouthed it.  I was crying, hoping that I wouldn't die. If there was any doubt ever about how I felt about him (which there NEVER has been), this whole thing cleared it up.  All I wanted was him.

I was in and out of consciousness.  When I began to come to, I could hear more.  I saw the room empty when they brought the x-ray machine in.  Felt my body moved forward for the plate to go behind my back.  I remember my shirt being pulled up to allow the heart monitor stickies to be placed.  I remember people saying to hang in there.  At one point they asked me to open my mouth, I remember thinking that I didn't want to be vented.  Apparently I didn't open it wide enough because they kept repeating to open wider until finally I did.  I laid there expecting the tube to be put in at any second.  Luckily, I was spared.

Everything was blurry.  I was crying, though not hysterically, my mask was partially covering both eyes and I was groggy from the Benadryl.

I could feel the tightness on my arm from the PICC and remember thinking that I didn't want it and I would deal with peripherals until I could get a port on Monday.  I still have the PICC and it works great.  Looks great and doesn't hurt at all.  The PICC nurse came in later and mentioned I was yelling for it to be removed.  Opps, I don't remember that!

My doctor came in at some point.  I know I looked around for him but couldn't see him earlier.  He hadn't been there at first.  He was across town in a meeting but came as soon as he was paged.  He has been in a few times since then and has been a huge support in this.  He wants to make sure that this doesn't happen again while I am here.

I just finally came off of the heart monitor about an hour ago.  They were watching my O2 and blood pressure.  Both were low.  I am on constant O2 right now because when I remove it, I de-sat to below 90%. This is a side effect from the trauma of the morning.  Something that can and will improve over the next day or two.

I'm shaken up over all this and realize just how bad it can be and how something so "trivial" can cause something so major.

I am glad to be awake, vent free and alive.

(P.S. this happened Friday, Nov 19 and was written that night)

A few days have passed now since this happened and I am learning more and more.  They are thinking what caused this is the nurse pushed the PICC in too far to my heart.  This happens very RARELY but when it does it causes all sorts of troubles.  With me, the troubles were multiplied because of my already horrible functioning lungs.

As I meet more people I am also hearing more and more.  My nursing assistant today was there on Friday and she was telling me some things.  Like how people were outside of my room praying I would make it.  How everyone was pulling for me because I am so young and too young to die.  I won't lie, this made me cry.  I know that part of it is because know one knew what was happening, but also that I was in a pretty serious state for a short amount of time (though to the people working on me and to me I am sure it felt like an eternity!).

I wasn't going to post this originally, but you can see I changed my mind.  I've told everyone that needed to know what happened, so now the rest can hear about it.

I am fine now, no adverse effects from the fiasco.  However, I will be using IR from now on for PICCs unless I decide to take the plunge and get a port.