Lately I can not stop thinking of my friends. Shawn, Kelly and Rhi who passed away within a few short months of each other. It makes me so incredibly sad. These three were more than "just" CF friends. They were close to me, special. Shawn was even family.
Each three were at various stages of CF progression. Shawn was almost 4 years post transplant, diagnosed with cancer (cancer did not get him - jury is still out on what really did). Rhiannon was "just sick" in for a routine exacerbation when she declined fast and was immediately too sick to be activated on the transplant list. Kelly had just received her wonderful new lungs, but within days, they became sick and would not work as they were supposed to.
Each of these people held a special place in my heart.
Kelly - sweet sweet Kelly. She was a wonderful photographer. We joked that she could fly out to photograph my wedding. But instead maybe an anniversary down the line when she had gotten her second chance. I got to meet her in Boston a few years ago for Paul's memorial. She was so beautiful and sweet and artistic.
Rhiannon - Oh Rhi. She was my first CF friend. When I first joined the online CF world a few years ago (2008ish), she sent me a private message after a post I had made. We were both going through similar issues with our boyfriends. Neither wanted to deal with CF but neither was leaving either. Well mine was halfway through the door. We chatted often and came to realize that she was "the slightly older, slightly sicker version of me." It was a joke we kept all this time. We maintained that friendship and I was so excited when she married Kev. I tried to make it to the wedding, but it wasn't possible. I wish I had been able to meet her in person.
Shawn - Shawn is the reason I am married. Thanks to him and his wife, P's sister, I never would have met P. I never would have met my soul-mate. Shawn was full of life and fun and he always knew someone to help you out. He was a man of all trades. He was my brother in law. He was P's best friend. He was our best man.
These three fabulous people were dear to me and now they are gone. And some days, as I am driving, I think of them and I can't help but let the tears flow...
Hi, Amy! This post brought tears to my eyes, and I didn't even know the sweet people you spoke of. In the past couple years I've made a lot of good friends online, and I've been fortunate enough to get to know a handful of the other CFers at my clinic. I can honestly say these people are some of the very best friends I've ever had (and probably ever WILL have). As you said, we are all in different stages of disease progression and our health is very different from one another... some of my friends are a lot worse off than others. The thought of losing any one of them - in the near future, or ever! - is terrifying. I can't imagine experiencing such a significant loss like you've described. Sounds like you were so lucky to have these people in your life, and the best part is that you were able to recognize that while they were still here. Sending love!
ReplyDeleteLovely Amy <3
ReplyDeleteI feel the same about my CF friends and all my TransplantLand friends. It's quite a bond and such an incredible relationship that's built.
ReplyDeleteHugs.