Clinic Today

Today was my final study visit. I am officially done with the Inhaled Cipro study wohoo!!!

Everything went well considering being sick. I lost 1 more pound and I am down to 117.5. Still decent. My FEV1 surprised me. I thought for sure I would be lower but I was at 39%. And I nailed 39% 3 times in a row LOL! 1.2L to be exact. I don't think I have ever had an identical reading before. So cool and strange. I was put on Zyrtec to see how that helps with my nose congestion. Hopefully it gets some of my lung function back once I clear away the gunk. If not then we are going to try a round of TOBI. If that doesn't work it means IV time. But I already feel better in a week since being on the oral Cipro. I think that the clearing of the sinuses will help more.

I thought my knees were the worst part of my burn but the back and side of my neck/shoulders are peeling already. They are the crusty peel that once the burnt skin falls off it leaves a hard, reddened skin in it's place. Fun stuff!!! And very painful I might add!

That's all I have for now...

I'm like a french fry...

...burnt to a crisp and covered in salt!

I spent the day at Devon. I go every year, by myself. It's always the weekend of and weekend after Memorial Day. I had completely forgotten about it until yesterday when my co-worker mentioned it. Memorial Day being so early this year through me off!

I adore going here. The smells, the sights, the sounds. Everything is just fabulous! I go alone. I will never go with anyone. I have no desire to. It's something I do alone so I can wander at my pace, sit as long as I want and do whatever I please. I never buy tickets to the grandstand since I enjoy relaxing in the sun taking pictures, right along the rail. Some years I wander around the grounds but mostly I watch the Oval and then walk back to look around the shops. I never go in. it's on the Mainline in PA and it's horse people...very expensive. Maybe someday when I marry that DR or Lawyer haha! One of these days I might actually stay for the whole day. But it is usually from 8am until about 10pm. A long day!

Devon has been a dream of mine since I was little. It's huge! People come from all over the country to show here. My two Aunts that have farms come every year to show with their students. They don't personally show anymore but they are the trainers for some that do. It's so very prestigious and you get to say that YOU rode in Devon. God I want to be able to say that. I guess my sorry ass needs to start riding again huh?

I still get that little tingle in my tummy when I can see that the rider is going to nail the jump, or the pull when it looks to be too short. I count each and every stride between the jumps and nod my head ever so softly as the horse canters along. I find myself biting my lip in anticipation when it comes down to a few seconds. Or feeling let down when a horse hits the rail and knocks it off. It's so invigorating for me. I love it.

Body and soul I miss riding and being a part of it all. I miss showing. I miss walking around in my breeches and boots. I miss buying saddle pads and treats. I miss the feel of the horse beneath you, how the muscles tense when going over a fence, the exhilaration when you nail a fence that you have been having trouble getting. Knowing that you are doing something you love.

Someday.....

Anyway...on the way home I decided to swing by the Battle of the Bulge Memorial. I didn't know it was inside the Valley Forge Military Academy and you can't get in (at least not on the weekends and I didn't feel like driving around to the other entrances) LOL. Oh well. I drove past it anyway and saw the back of it. And I saw some cute cadets. Maybe that's what I need instead of a DR or Lawyer, a military man!!! Mmmmmm yummy..........

Some pictures I took! Enjoy!!!

Devon Horse Show

The Dixon Oval

Leadline...ages under 4 and then 4-5 year olds. So freaking cute!

Lemon Stick....Devon is not complete without one

Someday maybe I will be doing this....

My burnt knees...LOL

Update

I called my clinic and updated them. My DR put me on oral Cipro and I have to call him Friday morning and let him know how I am doing. If I get SOB before then I should call right away. He says it sounds like a virus and I might have picked something up in the city. Or beforehand and it just surfaced now.

I guess I will see how I feel tonight and if I am going to go to work tomorrow. I have so much to do I better be able to get in!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I am off to shower and food shop then home to rest the remainder of the day.

Feeling crappy

I feel like shit. I have an itchy, glass producing chest, sore throat, achy body and a fever of 101.

And mentally I feel horrible because if this is a virus of some sort and not just over working myself then I could have given it to Piper!

I felt fabulous until I woke up yesterday morning with a sore throat. That happens sometimes when I leave my windows open so I didn't think much of it. Then by the end of the day I was achy and yucky feeling. I toke Nyquil and went to bed at 9 last night. Woke up with no difference except the 99.5 temp was back to normal.

I went downhill all day today. Chills then hot. Aches all over and now a fever of 101. Luckily I have off tomorrow so I can relax in bed all day. I'm not nauseous at all thankfully!

Then my mom being her says "OMG do you have the swine flu?!?! I was thinking about that all weekend!" Thanks NOW I'm thinking about that!

Ugh I can't wait till my treatments are over so I can crawl into bed with my O2 and sleep until Thursday morning.

Great Strides Walk #2!

View from Piper's Apartment

Sammy!

Graves wearing the socks Jessi made him

Group shot!

Joni, Piper, Graves and Me

I have to say off the bat that I think I am in love with NYC! All the people is a little un-nerving but wow…it was my first time sleeping over in the big apple and man o man I loved it! Helped a bunch that my host lives in a fabulous apartment with a fantastic view.

I got to town about 5pm on Saturday. Piper met me outside of Madison Square Garden and Penn Station. That was a riot! We skirted down from the taxi stand and caught a cab and as we were pulling away we got stopped and yelled at! It’s illegal to do that around the station…oppsie! But they let us go thankfully!

I got to meet Sammy and he is so super cute! And what a little fur ball! It made me miss Maggie!!!

Piper and I had a quiet evening. We went to dinner then had gelato (awesome from Groms) then met up with her friend Ben and had a drink. It was fun hanging out with Piper and her friends. We went back to her place and waited for her other friend Luke to get into town from New Haven. Soon after he arrived I went to bed.

Today we did breakfast with her team at her place and then headed to the walk site in Battery Park. There we met up with Graves and Joni and her sister. It was awesome seeing them again. The route took us from battery Park, to Piper’s apt (well 3 blocks over) and back to Battery Park. So we opted to go back to her place at the halfway point since technically we had just walked that to get there. We ate brunch and soon after Graves and I grabbed a taxi and headed back to Penn Station. Thus ended my NYC Great Strides Adventure.

At least this time I was smart enough to get some pictures!!!!

Enjoy!

Acceptance

The turnpike was backed up on my way from work today so it gave me more time to think…cause we all know how much I need that!

I was thinking about how I am moving back in with my mom soon and how this time last year I was so royally against it because I was afraid it would screw up my dating game. Well I haven’t had a date since this time last year so obviously something else screwed it up LOL. But that’s not the point. The point is that I have accepted being single. I have grasped it by the horns and I am embracing it like no other.

Quite frankly I don’t think I have ever been so happy in my life. I have my “days” here and there like everyone but not like before. I never worry if “he” is gonna call. Or if I will find the “one” anytime soon. I could care less! I ENJOY being single. I enjoy my freedom. I relish the fact that I don’t have to call anyone, see anyone, explain myself to anyone. I can be me, good old fashioned, kooky me.

I think back to when I was “crushing” on all those guys. I still find them all attractive and whatnot but the whole “OMG will I see him anytime soon” feeling is gone. In it’s place is this sense of independence and security that I never knew I had. While I was never the type to date and get a boyfriend just to have one, I always, and I mean ALWAYS, had someone I was pining over. So he always took over my mind and filled me with happiness or sorrow. But now…I am all happiness.

It’s fabulous! The thought of completely letting your emotions be controlled by someone else is just horrific! I don’t want that. I hate when people loose themselves when they date a guy. We all do it to a point, but most of my friends are this way. I guess thinking more into it, most people, when in a relationship, go from a single person mentality to a couple mentality. And no I don’t just mean in the sense that they are dating someone. In other ways too, thoughts, actions, etc. You and that person become one so to speak. For me I don’t know if I want that. That’s not to say I wouldn’t change my mind when Mr. Perfect-for-me walked in the door, but right now, the thought SCARES me.

I know I had so much more to write about and some day I will actually USE my voice notes recorder on my phone so I can get it all down. But for now I will submit to what I CAN remember!!

And on a side note…I registered to take the GRE July 18^th I go. That will give me plenty of time to study and prepare for it! I am so excited!

You know you're obsessed when...

You're laying in bed at 12:30 and you can't sleep so you decide to blog using your blackberry!

Anyway...

I can't sleep as I've stated already. I've been thinking about what Rhi and I chatted about in chat earlier tonight. School, more specifically, grad school and me going. I'm super stoked to apply and enroll. But I admit I'm almost as scared to go as I am excited. It's a big decision. Not one to be taken lightly. It's also a dream of mine. Not one to be taken lightly. As I jokingly said in chat: rock-me-hard place.

I don't want to throw my health away and I need to be honest with myself that I am no longer the same person as I was a few years ago. My energy is next to nothing and I find myself taking days to recover when it used to take hours. That does not make for an easy grad school career.

However, I also know I am stubborn as a boulder and tolerant to things when I least expect to be. In other words, I'll probably survive the first year maybe two with no issues then start to slack off and eventually find myself sick. Really sick.

But do I see it as worth it?

I LOVE my job, I LOVE my co-workers and I really don't want to leave them and it for school. I also don't want to go to the tx surgery table without at least attempting grad school.

Just more for me to ponder. As it rests now I am thinking of trying a semester with one class and full time work, just to see how I do. If it doesn't work I modify. The only problem with it is all me and my need for organization...I NEED a plan! Scratches on paper does not a plan make. I need concrete plans in order to stress less. I need to take some chill pills ay? :)

Well now that I've eased my mind slightly hopefully I can fall asleep and be well rested for clinic and study appointments tomorrow morning.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Great Strides Walk at the Philadelphia Zoo!

Today was the walk for CF. It was absolutely GORGEOUS out!! There was a chance of rain and considering it has rained for the last 11 days we thought for sure we would be rained on. Thankfully Mother Nature spared us. It was hot, sunny and awesome!

I picked Piper up at the train station at 9:30 and we went to the zoo to meet everyone. It was awesome that she came in from NYC to be here. I will be there next weekend for their walk! YAY! Being the brilliant team coordinator I am I didn’t take ANY pictures of anyone! I suck! So I stole my friend April’s pics haha! At least it is something right? I really wanted a group shot but there were SO many people that it would have been very difficult to get it.

The turn out was phenomenal! With our two teams combined (my team the Blue Crew and my office team Barton Buddies) there were roughly 35 people! We raised well over $3000 probably close to $4000 even more! Awesome! The amount of people there walking for CF was amazing. It really is awe inspiring to see such a crowd of people with tee shirts and flags etc all out to support someone they love.

There was only one mishap with a group of my team getting in late but they made it. I couldn’t turn in my money since I was waiting for them at the gate so I am mailing it in tomorrow. No biggie!! Mostly everyone left shortly after the walk ended….it was HOT! But some of my office team and Piper and I stayed around and wandered. Then it was just Piper and I so we stayed in the primate house and chatted it up for over an hour. It was great.

I absolutely love my friends, family and coworkers. I got teary eyed thinking of how amazingly lucky I am too have so many people that support me. I have never and will never lack that. It’s such a fabulous feeling I can’t even describe it. Seeing all those people wearing YOUR team shirt supporting YOU…WOW. It just blows my mind that every year we can raise what we do and do what we do. These people do this for me. I’m basically the only CFer they know (besides a few of my friends and family, well and now they all know Piper!), so it’s for me they walk. It’s so humbling and gratifying. It brings such a smile to my face!

Enjoy the pictures!!!! And you can yell at me for not taking any of my own haha!

Our team tee shirts and all the sponsors

April and I before the walk

I did it

I did it!!!!!!

I sent for information about the Graduate program at West Chester University. I chose this school because they have this awesome assistantship where if you work full time (20 hours) they will pay your tuition and give you a $5000 stipend for the semester. Or part time (10 hours) and they will pay half and give you $2500! So yeah made it easy :) Plus its a state school and it's cheap to begin with. And to be honest, I LOVE their courses! They have the most classes that I am interested in!

I thought A LOT about it today and I wanna do this. Part of the reason I decided to go ahead was I looked more into the NCIDQ exam which I was planning on taking in October and it will cost me $1200-$1500 to take it! HELL NO! It will get me no where with my job and I can take it any time I please. I have all the info I need. So maybe in a few years.

Instead I am going to look into taking Grad school classes...I am BUTS haha! But whatever! Hell if I get the full time assistantship then I can work part time like 20 hours at my job and just COBRA my benefits and I will be fine.

Of course this will all depend on how I do on my GRE and if I get accepted to the MA program...wish me luck!

Going back to school

Ok well I was gonna wait a while but then I decided not too.

For some unknown reason I have been really wanting to go back to school to get my master’s degree lately. So much so I have been looking into schools. The hard part is deciding what to get my Master’s in. I have always wanted my MA in American History but then I was thinking what if I did something to advance my current degree, like media design? Then I can be a HUGE asset to my company and almost guarantee me staying there LOL.

I want my master’s. It is one of my goals in life. I have my undergrad and now time for the graduate degree. I also need to decide when to do it. Do I start now taking a class here and there either online or Saturdays or do I wait until I can’t work due to my health then mooch off the gov’t and have them pay for it? The last one is super appealing for obvious reasons (not having to add to my student loan debt), but who knows how long until I hit that mark ya know.

Then I wander about what happens when I can’t work and my student loan debt. We had a convo in chat one night and it seems that any gov’t issued loans will be forgiven when you are out on permanent disability. Of course I would have to check with my lender on this one but hell that is awesome! So then it kind of deters me from wanting to take classes after I can’t work since then I will be doubly screwing the gov’t. Why do I give a dam about the gov’t so much? I dunno but I do.

And of course the schools I am looking into for my MA in History are Temple, University of Penn and Villanova. Temple is the only one moderately priced and the other 2 are expensive. But Penn would be awesome if I could get in there. I would LOVE to go to Yale (always been a dream) but it’s too far away. So the next best Ivy League would be Penn LOL

Maybe I am a total idiot for wanting to do this. Who knows what my health will be like and if I will be able to work once I have the degree. Most likely it will be for a personal benefit of mine and not so much for a professional benefit. Only the media design would be. I did get some info in the mail about that from an online college. But that I am not as into as the MA in History.

Oh well I don’t know. Someday maybe I will be able to take the classes and get my graduate degree. Or maybe the dream will fall to the wayside like that of having babies…only time shall tell.

Felling kinda like I have too...

Well I haven’t had a good blog in a very long time. One of those that really lets you deep into me. I just haven’t felt the need or the desire to do so. I have had a lot going on with the study and my step mother, but nothing that I wanted to share with the world.

I have been very happy lately, very content and don’t want to spoil it by digging into my inner most feelings. I know what’s in there and I am letting them hide out for now! I wanna stay happy and content a little while longer. I don’t want to think about all the bad shit I have inside. It can stay there right? No need for it to come out.

I have been thinking a lot about my close online friends. How sick some of them are and how I just want them to get lungs, get better, stay healthy etc. They all worry me and I guess I am kinda just avoiding anything that is serious and not happy in my blog. I dunno if that makes any sense. And I don’t want my friends to feel bad…you know who you are and I love ya all and worry so no need to yell haha!!!

Happy news:

Today was my nephew’s 5^th birthday party. He had a blast and I am exhausted haha!

Next Saturday is the GS walk at the Philly zoo. I am looking forward to that.

I still have a job thankfully. The housing market sucks and I am thanking my lucky stars everyday that I still work.

I think that’s it. Again, I promise sometime soon I will update with some more in depth blogging but for now the shallow Amy is shining through!