Friday, December 11, 2009

Dear Maggie

Dear Maggie

I don’t even know where to start my love. You have been my best friend sine I was 14! More than half my life, and all of my adult life, I have shared with you.

I remember when I got you. Daddy told me that he got me a surprise for my birthday. I was all excited and really wanted a baby (odd thoughts for a 14 year old but it was a phase). He said we would find out on Sunday. The rest of the weekend I was so curious. Then Sunday morning we went to cousin Kathy’s house to see her new litter of puppies. I picked you right up because you were the tiniest of the litters. Kathy told me her name was Amy. I just smiled. Then daddy told me that she was mine. He picked her out for me already. It was TRUE love!!!! You were so small you fit in the palm of my hand!! But you were so stinking cute and cuddly. We took you home and back to mom’s and she was NOT happy! We had a cage for you to sleep in but you cried for an hour so I brought you into bed with me. You have been there ever since!!!

When you were less than a year old your leg was broken but another dog. I remember that daddy and mom were going to have you put to sleep then. But the look on my face prevented daddy from doing it; instead he wrote a check out for the amount of the surgery. They fixed you right up and you just had that big bulky yellow cast on your leg for 6 weeks. Remember how we slept on the floor all that time? I was too afraid you would fall out of bed so I made our bed the floor! We cuddled up there every night and I never thought twice about it. I would have done anything for you my love. Because of the surgery you had a funny foot. We used to tease you and mom because her legs splayed out to the side as well from pins. But it was a cute attribute you had!

You have seen me through so much grief and happiness. We took our trip out west together. You sat on my lap the whole time, never worried where we were going because I was there with you.You loved me no matter what. Even when I was mad at you for something, you would curl up on my lap and I couldn’t stay mad. You would look at me with those big eyes and tilt your head to the side and my heart would just melt. This past year you have been an angel. I lost many friends to CF and you were always there to catch my tears, literally, as you laid on my lap. I will have to learn to crochet without you curled up next to me and getting tangled in the yarn.

We shared so many memories, so many games. When you were still a puppy you loved to bite our feet. Patrick and I would run from sofa to sofa trying to stay away from you biting. You would hop and bounce along right after us. When you were older we would play “poke” and we would lay face to face and I would poke the side of your butt with a finger one by one and you would move your head around to bite me. We played that until you were blind.

You also loved to run! I always got a good workout when you would decide to just take off. I would chase you and sometimes, many times I thought I was going to loose you. But you always came back. Once you had to be brought back by a man who didn’t know where you were from.He knocked on all doors around till he found us. You were going blind and it was night time. You snuck behind some trees and walked off. I couldn’t find you. I started to panic. I called mom and a bunch of us went searching. Finally the nice man showed up with you and you had somehow managed to cross the busy street and get down another one. But you were safe.

I never got you spayed, I take blame for this death of yours. What was hurting you could have been prevented had I spayed you when you were a puppy. But I wanted to breed you. I wanted others to have the happiness I knew with a puppy like you. Always happy, always excited to see me. God, no matter how bad my day was, or what went wrong, when I walked in that door you were happy to see, and towards the end, smell me. Your tail would start to wag, and you would get all excited and cry for me. I would pick you up and you would wiggle in my arms and lick my face. When you went blind, you would just settle down in my arms and relax. And there you would stay for the rest of the night.

I hope you are up in heaven right now loving every minute of it. All the steak and eggs you could want. Water galore. Treats till you are full. Mom-mom and Pop-pop will take good care of you.And now you can see Buddy again! No puppies though you hear me!!!! I am not ready to be a grandmommy!! Please take care of yourself honey. I will miss you and think about you every single day of my life. Someday we will meet again and I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and snuggle with you one last time. I know this was the right thing to do but it was the hardest thing.I’m glad I got to hold you as you took your last breath. It was like you knew. I was holding you and mom came over to pet you and you shied away from her, burying yourself deeper into me.I’ll never forget that, or you. You have been the only constant in my life, the only person I could trust with any secret. The only one who has loved me unconditionally through everything. Younever got mad, you never hated me, you never stopped loving me. For this I will be forever grateful.

I love you forever and ever!!!!

Rest Maggie…


  1. =(
    Im so sorry Amy,
    You have had so much loss to deal with here lately. Know that I am thinking of you!


  2. Sorry Amy to here about Maggie. My family and l recently went through a similar thing with our dog Anna of 10 years and to be there when she took her last breath was l hope comforting to her.

  3. I can't even comprehend what you're feeling right now. But I'm so sorry it happened. Hugs!

  4. I know the joy of having a furry best friend and I know the pain of losing them too. It's never easy. Pets are such an important part of life, your Maggie was lucky to have you as such a loving friend for 15 years. Always remember she had a long, wonderful life with you.


  5. Amy, My condolences. It's so hard loosing a pet. But don't blame yourself. Think about the happier times and all the fun loving moments with her. {{{hugs}}} ~Juliet

  6. Tears.....
    I am so sorry! Love you lots and sending ya BIG hugs!!!


  7. I am so sorry Amy. I am in tears after reading this. I have had my "puppy" since I was in fourth grade. When I moved from home I decided not to take her with me. It was such a hard decision but she has pretty bad anxiety whenever she is not at her home. And she has such horribly anxiety when it comes to thunder storms that as soon as the skies turn gray she starts shaking and finds a place to hide. Since we were moving to WA I decided to let her stay with my parents. Even though is isn't living with my it hasn't changed how much I love her! She is now mostly deaf and going blind. She is my best friend and I can only imagine what you are going through. My thoughts are with you :) Love you Cyster! xo

  8. (((HUGS))) you made me cry. Sorry, Amy. :(

  9. I am so very sorry for your loss and my prayers are with your pup who is now in heaven! Love to you,
    Your bloggy,

  10. I am sitting here in tears...That was beautiful Amy! I hope you are coping ok!