Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Numb

I found out yesterday another cyster passed a week post transplant. I only knew her on facebook, but it was still a shock. I also just found out another close cyster has stopped all treatments. Being taken off the bi-pap and going to return to her God.

I'm numb.

She is 42, born on my grandmother's birthday and a great woman. She has a daughter and a husband. She will be missed when she goes.

I am loosing count how many I have lost in the past month. Will it end?

It's times like these I want to stop being on the boards. Stop making friends with those around me with CF. But we all know I just can't do it. My heart is with too many people right now.

I worry about all my friends with CF. The ones waiting for new lungs especially.

This is a plea to God and the angels above. Please, please, please STOP taking them all away.
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9 comments:

  1. JessDecember 9, 2009 at 8:20 PM

    *cries* I'm so devastated from losing so many people this month! Please make it stop :( Hugs to you Amy.

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  2. UnknownDecember 9, 2009 at 9:42 PM

    It has been a horrible month. I hear you loud and clear!!!!

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  3. ChristyDecember 9, 2009 at 10:37 PM

    I've lost count too Amy.. how sad is that.

    When I first joined cf2chat, I only had a few friends with CF... ones I had met at Duke. Right after I joined, a dear friend (who is no longer with us) said "Nutzy, you know if you stay here, you are going to be losing a lot of friends. It just comes with the territory". BUT I had no idea just what that meant at the time. So, so sad, but my CF friends bring me so much joy also. I could never, ever stop having them.

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  4. MishaDecember 9, 2009 at 10:55 PM

    It's so horrible we're losing so many all at once :'(

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  5. WeybsDecember 9, 2009 at 11:17 PM

    I know what you mean Amy, since l became more involved with people with CF either here in Australia or through some of the blogs like yours l have known a few people who have died but l enjoy their company and understanding of the illness and would rather spend the little time l have with them that not at all. As l head towards a transplant myself you here more about poeople who didn't make it or are sick like me and it does get a bit to much after a while but all we can do is be there for one another.

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  6. LucieDecember 10, 2009 at 6:24 AM

    Im also a CF'er newly waiting for new lungs (although im a fashion blogger), and its so hard to watch others just like us lose the fight. But at the same time, it makes me want to fight harder in their name, you know?

    Please know im here for you.

    Much love,
    Lucie xxx

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  7. UnknownDecember 10, 2009 at 10:29 AM

    Did you hear about Melissa??

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  8. MarjoleinDecember 12, 2009 at 5:03 PM

    It has really been an awfull 2 months. I just don't want it all to be real...
    Lauren and Melissa were the first CFers I talked to, outside of my friends from camp.

    I will never ever forget them, and the others from the forums...

    And now you tell us that yet another Cyster's time is getting closer and closer... Big hug to you Amy. X

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  9. MarjoleinDecember 12, 2009 at 5:05 PM

    I just reread your post... That you were talking about Mel... I didn't know she wanted to stop all treatment. Pfff. But I can understand...

    X

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