The test today, which I couldn't do, just really got me thinking. If I can't handle that, will I be able to handle a cracked open chest and new lungs?
I just look at everything that needs to be done, all the recoup time, all the tests, medications, appointments and I wonder "is it REALLY worth it?" What if I end up with shitty lungs again? What if I reject fast? What if I die in surgery? What if...what if...what if?
The choice is mine right? I know I have a family now, but I can say no right?
Maybe I need to step up my health game. Maybe I need to kick it into high gear and work on staying healthy so I don't NEED a double lung transplant.
Life was a lot easier when I was against getting a transplant. Then again, I could actually breathe back then....