Friday, December 26, 2008

Marriage Rant

I am opening this blog saying I don’t want to hear anything like “oh maybe someday” or “well you never know”.  This is purely an opinion of me, the blog owner, and remember I hold the complete rights to delete any comments left that I dislike.  HAHA you know I will never delete them unless they are totally mean!!!!  But seriously, please don’t leave any comments trying to lift my spirits because I never said they were down in this blog.  This is not a Debbie Downer blog, it is a matter of fact blog, so remember that going in, k? 

Did you ever just KNOW something?  For me I always knew I would never have kids.  Not because of the CF but I just never saw it with me.  For as long as I can remember I wanted babies.  I always wanted to be a mom and a wife and do all t he things that mom’s and wives do.  But for as long as I can remember I never saw me that way.  Not sure if that makes sense.  As much as I dreamed of having kids I just always thought it was a distant fantasy, that would never come true.  Now I know that I was right.  I will never have babies.  My health is too crappy and if I do decide to have a transplant I won’t have them after either.  But I am fine with that.  I am ok with it I think because of knowing I really never would.  I had no idea having babies was frowned upon with CFers until recently so its not like that was playing in my head.  I just never saw ME as a mom.  Weird yes I know! 

But that is meant to build up to my next insight.  I don’t think I am meant to marry.  Again, I always wanted to be a wife and do the domestic thing.  But I just don’t see ME as a wife.  I don’t see my settling down and being all wifey.  My friend D and I chatted about this a few years ago and I said I just didn’t see how I fit the mold of a wife.  She said I didn’t fit the mold of a traditional wife but she thought I would make a good one.  Yes I think I would make a good one too but I just don’t see me in those shoes.  It’s hard to explain what I mean.  Yes I would like to get married and yes I wanna find the man of my dreams and marry him and be super happy but I know my happiness doesn’t depend on a man and especially not on the man of my dreams.  I am happy now.  (My mood has risen since the holidays are just about over and I now have New Year’s plans).  

All that to say that I get annoyed when people ask me when I am gonna get married or scoff at me when I say, yet again, that my boyfriend and I broke up.  I don’t wanna hear it.  I don’t want people telling me that I will never get married if I keep breaking up with people.  All I want to say is that I won’t marry anyone I am not head over heels in love with so that’s why I break up with everyone.  Nuff said in my opinion.  Why settle?  Why just get married to be married.  And why do I HAVE to get married?  All this hype and build up to spend forever with someone.  It’s quite frightening to me!  What if I change my mind 5 years from now?  Then I have to go through the process of a divorce!  EEKK!!!!!  

Being married, having a hubby and a family seems all hunkie-dorie but it just doesn’t seem like ME.  


  1. Why settle indeed!! Divorce sucks.

    I'm so glad you have New Year's plans. My hubby is working and my daughter will be at her friend's party. Maybe I'll dress up and cook myself a nice dinner. :)

    Be sure to post pics of your night of partying.

  2. Well glad your spirits have risen! And yes, I agree you shouldn't just settle to settle. marriage isn't for everyone, and sometimes I think I am one of those people. But who knows?

    Hope you have a fun New Years!

  3. I like your post and agree! Marriage isn't for everyone...and it's not something just to "settle" for. I get tired of people asking me when I'm gonna get married too! Although I've always seen myself married and with kids. Even though I'm a CFer and have had a transplant...I still plan on having kids (if I'm married of course). I'm glad your content with your decision and your spirits are good!!

  4. BTW, Casey just got a new puppy (her 5th at her dad's house.. haha), and she named her Maggie. Thought you'd like to know. I love that name.

  5. Just wanted to say that you should tell the people who keep asking you that to shut the hell up and mind their own business lol. Way too many people get married just to get married, and look at the friggin divorce rates? NOTHING to settle for, that's for damn sure.

  6. Well said Amy. And I couldn't agree with you more. Being yourself and looking out for #1 takes a strong personality. Not everyone can do it and I'm proud of you because you can.

    Have fun on New Year's Eve! I have plans for the first time in years, although, I don't plan to stay out until midnight. But I'll be out past 9PM, which is late for me hahaha!

  7. I didn't know that it was frowned upon for CFers to have kids. Who are these frowny people? If its people who don't have CF who say we shouldn't have kids, tell them where to stick their oversized heads.
    In a way, I'm like you, I'd love to hav the ideal life with a husband and kids (when i'm older!!) but somehow CF has slightly wrecked it. ah well. Xxx

  8. Well, obviously I am married...but I completely get it why someone would think that it is not for them. And who freakin cares! I get so annoyed with people who make comments like you mention. I get them about kids all of the time and I want to just scream, "It is know of your f-ing business so leave me alone!" but I am too polite for that (at least most of the time). Just be happy being you :)

  9. I want to get married. I almost did and I think it was my cf that scared her off. How do others with Cf accomplish this goal? There just arent any chicks out there looking for a sick guy, or one that could potentially be really sick at any time. Any comments would be greatly appreciated