Corn on the cob and tomatoes

I couldn't think of a fun title so I wrote what I had for dinner LOL!

I am so exhausted today. The week has finally caught up with me. I am looking forward to a relaxing night at home reading and then off to bed. I only have a few pages left in my book so I will finish them and then head to the 'ole sack.

But I know you are all (ok yeah my 3-4 readers haha) more interested in other things and not reading what I am doing this evening. So I will grace you with my ramblings.

I passed a few horse trailers on my way home from work this evening. There must have been a show somewhere because I rarely see them on the turnpike. The one had a cute little butt sticking out of the back. It was a beautiful bay. It made me think how much I miss riding. It is probably the one regret I DO have in life. I try not to regret much since everything is a learning experience. But that is definitely on the list. Why did I stop in the first place? Oh that's right, boys and college. Riding horses doesn't fit in well with the schedule of seeing your boyfriend and friends and getting drunk all the time. Oh well. Again I can't regret it (even if I do) because now I know how much I miss it and loved it. I still have my saddle and tack trunk at my brothers with my stuff in it. Not like I will be able to use it anytime soon. And when I do I will need to buy new stirups and stirup leathers because mine got all moldy and I had to chuck them. I even have my riding boots and some of my britches still in my drawers. Even my lucky riding socks that I wore when I had shows. They are old and raggedy but they are my lucky socks.

Then I got to thinking about how I would love to start back up again. Maybe when the time comes for me to go out on SSDI I can look into getting back into it. I couldn't go to the farm anymore since my dad and aunt are in a huge lawsuit right now. That would just be weird since I totally agree with my dad and even my aunt's lawyers think she is loopy. I love the farm though!!!! I do miss it. I miss all the fun smells. Yes I am one of the few wackos that enjoys the smell of horse manure. I love getting dirty and sweaty. It's all for the love of the ride.

It is so calming sitting on the back of a horse and letting its movements take over you. I can remember sitting in the saddle and forgetting all my problems, not that there were that many back when I was 17. But still, just sitting there, the feel of the worn leather under your butt, the smell of the horse filling your nostrils, the sound of the hooves clapping on the ground. Its rhythmic and invigorating and intoxicating and soothing. God how I miss it!!!!!!!!!

I miss the smell of the dew on an early Sunday morning before the rest of the world is up and you and your friends are loading the horses on the trailer and all your tack, preparing for the show. Everyone is running around in their britches and a tank with their socks up to their knees. The sun hasn't even come up yet, but you are wide awake in anticipation for the day. Knowing full well you won't be home for 18 hours and when you do get home you will colapse into bed from shear exhaustion. Those were the days! The days when life seemed so easy and carefree.

I wish I had pictures of me on a horse back in the day. I might, I will just have to look around and see if I can find one. I rode Premier, Spyder, Bruizer and Jenny. Premier was my favorite. He had well known parents and was basically a push button horse. I won alot of ribbons on him. He wa smore of a huge dog than anything! One day at a show he ate the hot dog right out of a little kids hands!!! And he gave kisses. If you turned your face to him and patted your cheek he would nudge you! Spyder was a handful! He was the testiest horse I ever sat on!!! We would canter down the ring and he would try his hardest to buck me off!!!! He only succeeded a few times LOL. He taught me a lot and put me in great shape. Bruizer was one of my favorites. He had the typical quarter horse ass. You could spot it from a mile away!!! He was for sale when I rode him and I wish I could have bought him. The day he was hauled off I sat in my dad's bedroom watching the trailer leave the farm and I cried.

Jenny was my all time favorite. I wanted to buy her so badly but I couldn't. I rode her every day the summer that I lived on the farm. We got along very well and we figured each other out. I rode her in a show once but I placed 5th across the board. Not bad but there were only 5 entries :) It was an equitation class and my equitation sucks!!! Equitation classes judge the rider not the horse. Most classes (like childrens) judge on the horse. I was still so thrilled to ride her though!!!! I an remember the day like it was yesterday! I can remember sitting in the truck getting ready, I can remember practicing in the ring that was really a field with hills, I can remember being in the ring showing her and being so happy! After the summer ended I headed back to school and tried to get up to ride her when I could. Someone decided that all the hard work I put into her over the summer was worthwhile so they began leasing her, which meant I couldnt' ride her anymore. Then I got the call one night. I was in my car with my BF at the time and we were leaving our friends house. My dad calls me to tell me that Jenny had a brain annurism (sp?) the night before and she died. I lost it. I was hysterically crying. My BF couldn't figure out why I was so attached to the horse, but I was. I loved her with all my heart. I was so sad. It still makes me sad to think of it. I miss her and her grumpy self. Because as much as we got along she was a grumpy bitch!!! I think that is why we loved each other. I didn't put up with what she handed me and she loved trying to get me to squirm. It was a love/hate relationship. I can not wait till the day I die when I can ride her up in heaven! I will brush her gorgeous coat and mane and ride her off into the sunset.

This is Jenny: